25 March 2010

In this post, I beat my wife

So as part of my new buy clothes that actually fit you campaign, I looked to invest in some wifebeaters to wear as undershirts. All my teeshirts hang out below my long sleeve shirts and it looks really dorky (at least that's what my sister says), so I'm in the market for undershirts. So where better a place to get some wifebeaters than good old Walmart.

So I pick up some smalls. I'm not exactly the tallest guy in the world nor would I say I'm particularly barrel chested. Let's tell it like it is. I should probably wear smalls. I figure Walmart typically has stuff custom made for them (if you're Walmat you can do whatever you want!) and everybody knows that everyone who goes to Walmart is some fat, oafish lump so the small is relative.

I open the package and see what I got. First observation is these things are fucking tight. Maybe they're supposed to be. They're undershirts, after all. But this is a little unnatural. Second they're long. What the hell man. Way to rub in the fact that I am a mere quarter of an inch over the average male height. I buy a small and can't even get an undershirt that doesn't terminate at some reasonable length. Eat a dick. Seriously.

So now I have five of these fuckers. Who knows if they can go back to the store (the receipt does, but I don't have it handy). Any tall gangly fuckers want to buy them off me?

The worst part is tomorrow my teeshirts are still going to hang out. Eat. A. Dick.

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