Waking up is a real battle for me. Not in the depressing sort of way, but I really like lying in bed and I don't have a whole lot of self control. If I have an alarm going off, I turn it off and then walk right back to my bed and fall asleep. I tell myself only a couple of minutes, and that never happens, and it happens nearly every time without fail. Usually when I know I have a test or something, this doesn't happen, but for your ordinary days I play a pretty dangerous game.
So I began waking up to music. And I had the perfect station for it: 99.3 your basic mediocre rock station. Typically what would happen is I'd gradually wake up over the course of 3 to 4 mediocre to decent songs and then a real stinker would play and I'd be awake and alert enough to hate it and not feel like getting right back in bed after I turned off the alarm.
Then for some reason I decided to test fate. I sort of grew irrationally fond of 93.9, a pretty weird eclectic station after they played Gimmie Shelter and Reckoner back-to-back. Of course this will never happen again, but it was pretty rad. And speaking of rad, they have some pretty rad funk on Friday evenings. So it became my wakeup station. This worked less well because the music was overall pretty inoffensive. The alarmism over the heavy water leaks at Vermont Yankee helped for awhile, but after some time the station became pretty ineffective.
So I switched it up again, this time to 91.1, UMass's own WMUA. And that's probably been even worse. But it's been pretty educational. The past two Sundays I've needed to get out of bed fairly early to start working. This is the hardest thing to do, waking up on a weekend to do some unenviable task. There's no embarrassment of showing up late and missing a meeting or class, but if you lounge around in bed you're screwing yourself. But lounging around is so nice. So what do I get to lounge around to?
A big block of Polka.
So granted to half-conscious mornings of Polka hardly makes me an expert, but I'm pretty convinced that Polka is probably among the most uniformly themed type of music out there. Maybe the woman who does the show is picking and choosing, but all Polka seems to be about two things:
1) Polka music.
2) Polish people.
One is really weird. I've heard so many songs about the merits of Polka, a "Polka party time", how much fun people have because of Polka music. This sort of makes you wonder how Polka came to be in the first place. It emerged fully grown out of its own head??
Two takes some explanation, and is probably biased based on one ridiculous song. This song was basically long lists of girls' names and the implication that they were crazy about this "Polish lover boy". It was weird.
But really, I can't think of any songs that fell outside of these two headings. And so that got me thinking, could all music, fundamentally, be like this? I don't think so. I mean imagine a world where the only two songs are "Old Time Rock and Roll" and "Proud to be an American". It would stink.