Being a first rate sports publication, the fuckityo.com computer website has an obligation to get the full story on this development. However, in the absence of journalistic standbys like a press pass, ambition, or the courage to call his agent, I will be posing these questions to Mr. DiSarcina in these hallowed halls and waiting for his true and honest responses.
- One time I had a dream a riot broke out at Fenway Park and you strangled a man unprovoked. How will this affect the mood in Pawtucket's clubhouse this year?
- Which baseball player with the last name Johnson do you use as a euphemism for yours?
- If you're really from Sarcina, as stated by your surname, why am I holding a birth certificate, from Malden, Massachusetts with your name on it, you imposter?
- If you had to choose only one, would you describe baseball as "America's last bastion of homophobia, misogyny, and general redneck stupidity" or "boring"?
- Which advanced baseball statistic do you plan on ignoring the most this season?